Friday, July 23, 2010

Top Chef’s Top Bitch!

I am a huge fan of Top Chef as cooking is an art that remains a mystery to me. I ignorantly believed that the day after I got married, a virtual cook book would unlock in my mind. I however did not receive this download! Thanks fairy g-dmother for not granting me this one essential wish!

I am so cooking challenged that I actually once tried boiling an egg in a glass dish on the stove top. Much too only my surprise it exploded - Talk about having egg on your face.This was my traumatic turning point. No physical scars remain, but the emotional ones cut pretty deep into the core of my being, who is now strongly averse to cooking.

So this season of Top Chef is off to a pretty good start. My unexplained hatred for Padma continues for no good reason other than I don't like her face. Why does she speak like she is always delivering devastating news - it is a show about food, lighten up you are not on General  Hospital, no one has a brain tumor or is in a coma. Luckily the show has blessed me with a new person to deflect my disgust towards, Angelo Sosa – what a bitchy queen! Come out of the closet already!  At least I could accept the cattiness from a Cher loving friend of Dorothy’s.

At first I cautiously held back my feelings for Angelo as I thought he was“just playing the game”, but things just continue to get uglier, so unleash the beast!

WARNING! Sleep with one eye open Top Chefers! 

  • Angelo is a self proclaimed competitor – he is “breaking necks and cashing checks”!
  • His advice is toxic; Would you listen to the snake in the Garden of Eden about how to garnish your apple?
  • You might actually have a chance of winning by doing the opposite of what he says - now that is a solid strategy I could get behind 
  • Don’t become Angelo’s next apprentice (aka victim). I know it is easy to be seduced by his mini-massages and late night whisper fests under the stars. Learn by poor Tanesha’s example! She was voted off this week. Guess who tasted her dish and told her is was great??? He is misguiding you on purpose dum dums.
  • If he is immune and offers to make a dish a child or even I can make i.e celery and peanut butter– just say no! This dish is NOT bringing home a win on purpose fool!
  • Finally he looks a little too much like the demented character Syler from Heroes for my comfort. Just saying it is creepy! I bet this is who he takes his greasy hair tips from. Don’t stand to close to that open flame dude!


This season is proving to be off the hook nasty! I guess DC brings out the scheming politician in everyone!

“ Double double boil and bubble, Angelo’s brewing up some trouble” – Cinderella


  1. I so totally agree! Angelo is dangerous and plays a sneaky game. But, then, why would a contestant ask another contestant to try their food? Shouldn't they trust their own instincts? And, I'm not going to get started on Padma... what is her problem?... it's like everything she's around is distasteful... I love Top Chef and the Next Food Network Star... Giada a judge and they keep telling one contestant she smiles too much! Have they even watched Giada's show! I need to bring you into the cooking world slowly, through solar cooking... come visit when you can...

    Twitter: SolarChief

  2. I can't believe you're from Cape Town. What are the odds?! It was an amazing trip and probably the opportunity of a lifetime to get to go there.
    I had dinner in Camps Bay at sunset too. It's funny, it reminded me a lot of a cross between Santa Monica and Malibu, CA. Really funny to find out you're from there. thanks for sharing!!


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