True Blood: Who's Smoking the Fairy Dust?

With each new episode of the season I find myself questioning True Blood’s authenticity? Which I know is ridiculous when the premise of the show is that vampires and a cornucopia of other creepy creatures live amongst us. But the more outlandish it becomes the less pleased I am! Weird how our perception of reality only takes us so far before something becomes completely implausible. I guess my threshold for fantasy meeting reality stops at werewolves? Vampires, shifters, maynards, telepaths all fine, but fairies pu-lease who believes in those?

The show definitely walks a thin (and I mean dental floss thin) line between reality and fantasy, and as of late has done so beautifully, aiding in my belief that most of what is happening in the show is real including Eric’s amazing abs! Let's be honest he must be downing a delicious Roidtini daily!

Last night this thin line was disintegrated by fairy dust. "Everything was broken" including my delusions of reality. Bill’s entry into fairyland robbed the show IMHO of  it's credibility and darkness. What is next unicorns, Leprechauns and magical rainbow rides?

Clearly the left side of my brain rules my body, math and logic don't make regular appearances in my control tower, so I am definitely intrigued by all the universe has to offer, but fairies are just too Disney. I must admit I tend to favor the existence of nightmarish creatures, this is potentially why I don’t sleep most night as I am still dreaming of Freddy Kruger busting through my door.

I do love love love Talbot's new digs, a Waterford crystal earn! Fancy! I can only hope Russell will be prancing around with his Talbot fruit salad for the remainder of the season!

Are you smoking the fairy dust? What is your reality to fantasy threshold?

Shut-Up! It's Saturday Morning!!!

Who takes their kids swimming at 7AM ? I just woke up with the rings of Saturn around my eyes due to spending the wee hours of the morning trying to sleep with 2 little kids screaming"mamma, mamma, maamma" over and over again. They even penetrated my dreams, as I found myself laying at the pool with  my sister and a headache. Thank goodness they finally switched up their shrieks with what I could only make out to be Spanish nursery rhymes. It took all the power of my good conscience (I think the little version of myself with angels wings on my shoulder died of exhaustion) not to open my balcony door and yell "SHUT UP!" But I realize karma is a bitch and I will be the one with the screaming kid soon. Lord have mercy!

It is time to buy a house, I am done playing well with others.

"I now understand why the big bad wolf wanted to eat Little Red Riding Hood" - Cinderella

Happy Friday! Have a Llama!

Menu for Happiness

Intoxicants:
Wine with sparkles of course!
True Blood, True Blood and more True Blood
Bethany Getting Married – Look at that pregnant bitch!
Beach Vacations - As long as it is not in Georgia. I like my beach to provide a tropical experience

Fresh Meat:
Cocktails with Patrick on Sirius XM – Holla at Ya Boy!
Ross Mathews - I wish he would be my GBF, is there such a thing as GayDate? I swear he is so gay when he talks rainbows come out of his mouth
Harry Potter – I am a total nerd, the theme song is my ringtone. Don't judge I am just imaginative

Weight Watcher Friendly:
Skinny jeans – the darker the better, they make my legs disappear
Sushi for breakfast, lunch & dinner and don’t stinge on the spicy mayo!
Saying “I am fat” at least 20 times a day! Prince Charming says he is going to start a swear jar

Deserts/ Guilty Pleasures:
Give me Attention - no PR is bad PR!
Sugar Free Comedians i.e. Daniel Tosh, Louis CK and Chelsea Handler – tell it like it is kids
Tell me I am gorgeous/beautiful – Say it, I don’t care if it’s true or not!
Sales at Bloomies – okay sales anywhere, but Bloomies make me dizzy!

Today's Special:
Prince Charming telling me how glorious I am, while cooking dinner and giving me a back massage.

I am not demanding I am just definite. Now who’s taking my order?

Dating in the Dark: You Have A Great Personality, But Your Fugly!

The new season of Dating in the Dark is here, and I am as giddy as a school girl! I am not one who even mildly enjoys shows like the Bachelor/Bachelorette, but I do love a good dating game with a sick twist, i.e. Joe Millionaire, Beauty and the Geek and the best yet Mr. Personality. So naturally I love Dating in the Dark. It is dramatic and provides me with instant gratification, just how I like it! No need to waste 3 months waiting to find out who is going home with someone and who is just going home crying.

Dating in the Dark puts 2 sets of strangers, 3 male and 3 female in a house for the equivalent of weekend. Long enough to find true love right? Here is the catch, they are not allowed to see each other with the lights on and can only conduct their dates in a room darker than the edge of space.

Ultimately they have to win over the heart of their compatible match with their personalities, but like for most  guys personality is not quite enough and it is hilarious watching them try to sneak an indiscreet flubber examine - Its pretty obvious that when a guy asks to feel your face he is checking for neck fat not how smooth your skin is!

Last night Joey was concerned about landing up with a "floater", who I quote "might blow up like a tick". Needless to say he went home alone. A fat chick is better than no chick loser. Take your chest hairs back to Jersey, you (and Jersey Shore) are giving the nice people of your state a bad name.

After 3 dates they are revealed in the light to the person they have pick,(and who many of the desperate women has deemed their soul mate)! The reveal is always so uncomfortable to watch, it is like staring straight into the sun!

Finally once they have seen each other in the light, the show sets up the contestants for one final blow. The guy is asked to show up to meet the girl. Way to set yourself up for rejection on National TV. The girl must wait anxiously praying like a nerd on prom night for her date to show up. Most times the girl is left mortified knowing that her alleged "soul mate" thought she was fugly along with all of America. Good luck trying to get this girl to now date in the light!  This can't be easy for someone who already seemed as emotionally stable as a teenager with a meth addiction. 

Out of all this the "thoughtfully deep" lesson ABC is trying to convey to America is: Looks should not matter! To bad in most instances it backfires. We are America of course looks matter! Have you not seen Doctor 90210, The Swan or Extreme Makeover, most of which air on your network? I am so confused??? I will try not to be too shallow while getting a boob job because I can't find true love. Sheesh!

Be sure to check out Dating in the Dark on ABC at 10PM Monday nights.
http://abc.go.com/shows/dating-in-the-dark

"Finding Prince Charming with the lights on was hard enough" - Cinderella

It's a Friday Blog Party! And I Want to Be the Bell of the Ball!

Have a Toshtastic Weekend!!