Friday, October 22, 2010
I managed to squeeze in some me time this afternoon, and since Netflix continues to be down (for what seems like an eternity, gaaw regular TV), I decided to peruse my DVR. Jackpot! Buried deep beneath 100 episodes of "Top Gear" and "How I Met Your Mother" I struck hidden chick flick treasure, "The Lovely Bones". Super excited I hit play and took a sip of my Coke Zero snuggling into the couch. I have not read the book (unbelievable I know), and had no idea what I was plunging myself into. All seemed pretty normal, until the little chick was murdered and then I started to feel weird. Staring at my soda I though someone at Coke must have laced a batch. It was like "Narnia" and "Ransom" had an awful messy drunken hook up and produced this film, which came out with a serious birth defect!
Oh Peter Jackson, I like a spaced out movie MORE than the next girl, and applaud your creativity. The visuals where "totally amazing dude", but jeez, I seriously will NOT have what your are smoking, nightmares and crack cocaine, I presume! I was however, caught off guard by the ending. I was almost positive a hobbit was going to be the one to kill Stanley Tucci. Furthermore, I am very impressed that Mark Walberg has not served you a knuckle sandwich for enticing him to star in this "film". Lucky for you his anger management classes and new found love for the church must be working.
Watching this film was like waking up next to Dane Cook after a rough night of drinking, embarrassing & totally unsatisfying! Thanks Jackson, I will be billing you for 2.5 hours of my time.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
|Kiss My Blue Ass|
I can't believe I have been missing out on several years of celebraties' irreverent thoughts, as well as the thrill of seeing people (who might infact be serial murders, yes you @Dexter) retweet and comment on my tweets. For some reason this makes me feel self righteous! Some rando thinks I am funny, how reassuring!
In the last week or so, I have download the Twitter App to my phone, and have development aches in my elbow joints from holding the phone for too long reading tweets all day. My vision is going, my ability to concentrate on anything other than Twitter is dwindling and the most pathetic of it all, last night I woke up at 4AM in excitement to check if I had any new followers, because in my dream I had just blown up on Twitter and I had bazillions of them... very disappointing when I found out I only had 5.
According to Lindsey Lohan Twitter addiction is a reality. She is getting treated for it as we speak at The Betty Ford Clinic. Wow that place will pretend to fix anything you make up for a buck! I bet Twitter was the reason she missed/was late for all her court dates -no seriously.
So after doing some important research here are some of my favorite signs you might be addicted to Twitter:
1. Beg your blog readers to follow you on twitter, then beg your Twitter followers to Retweet the tweet.
2. Keep searching for your twitter name and your tweets in real time twitter search
3. Keep refreshing the twitter page every second for new tweets.
4. Include your twitter profile in your Gmail signature instead� of your blog
5. Print your twitter id on business cards.
6. All of your friends’ names start with @
7. You name your newborn @babygirl1
8. You've seen a reduction in your cell phone minutes. You rarely talk to anyone anymore.
9. You wonder when the day comes that you will make your final exit and head to the pearly gates if anyone will be at your funeral...or will they just tweet it?
10. You wonder if all 10,000 of your followers actually showed up at your house what you would feed them.
11. You check your phone for Twitter updates when you aren't near your computer. If there are none you call your service provider to see if something is wrong.
12. You have blisters on your fingers from banging away at the keyboard so much.
13. You are afraid that if you go to eat lunch or dinner might miss something on Twitter, so you survive on anything that's portable -- like wine and candy.
14. You get all of your news from Twitter...and you believe it.
15. You like the word viral even though it sounds flu-ish.
16. You have a back up plan: if Twitter is down, you communicate on Facebook and vice versa. If both are down you take a Valium and pretend to like MySpace.
17. You sit in a room by yourself tweeting and you laugh. Out loud. A lot. You have even said, "Yes! Exactly" and nodded your head in agreement to many tweets.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
So I am taking up new hobbies, like cooking. I think it is about time I offer Prince Charming more than a variety of five dishes on regular rotation. He is out there working to the grind each day just to keep me happy, so I am ready to return the favor (in a new way)! Tonight I am starting out with cooking 101,
Hopefully this dish is fool proof! Wish me luck! I will have Tums, Mylox, and Pepcid AC on hand should Prince Charming start to kill over...
Here's to new begininngs!
"Earning my keep in the castle is harder than it seems"
Thursday, October 7, 2010
I DIE! So stinking cute and so compelling that I made Prince Charming take me to the pet store yesterday to play with the bunnies. I found a tan colored one and named him Peanut Butter - I love him, but he smells really bad and would clash with the new pumpkin spice scent radiating throughout my house. Sorry Peanut Butter guess you will have to find a owner with blocked sinus or no nose. Does Voldemort like bunnies? PeeU!
Monday, October 4, 2010
I am pretty sure I am not a total die hard wizarding weirdo and just have a healthy imagination and love for MAGIC Dumbledore style as I do not partake in the following:
I don't read the Leaky Cauldron, too often.
I don't listen to Wizard Rock, but I love singing nerds aka Weezer & Vampire Weekend
I did watch the documentary We are Wizards, but purely for social study purposes
I don't wear Harry Potter style clothing and my collection of J.Crew preppy stripped scarves do not count!
I don't openly search for Platform 9 3/4 at the metro station (unless something looks suspicious suggesting its existence)
So with great excitement it came to my attention that the stars will align for me in the month of November, bring together 2 of my loves - Harry Potter and Prince Charming (in no particular order of preference). Drumroll (dadadadah!)Harry Potter and The Deadly Hallows will be opening the weekend of my one year wedding anniversary in 3D IMAX! Even captain obvious knows what this means. We must go celebrate our anniversary at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando! Logical right?
I am grateful for Prince Charming who is planning to indulge me in this ridiculous wedding anniversary wish. Am I nuts for trading tickets to Daniel Tosh and a night at a fancy downtown hotel for downing butter beer which I will promptly throw up on The Flight of the Hippogriff?
Saturday, October 2, 2010
|Juicy Fields Forever - What the Haute? |
- Sigfried and Roy's wet dream
- Looks like Satan is celebrating Easter this year
- What a molesting Easter Bunny - look at all of his bastard offspring. This is why I am pro neutering.
- The homeless of Wonderland
- On the next episode of "Extreme Hoarders" ....
- I can hear time Tim Gunn screaming "Even I can't make this work!"
- Alice in Wonderland + Woodstock + The Wizard of Oz + Hunter S. Thompson + The Beatles = Bad acid trip not new line of preppy girlie wear
- I spy knock-off Chanel!
- This is what happens when Freddy Kruger visits little girls dreams
- Jordan Catalano are you lost again?
- Way to divert our attention from the clothing
- A dress up tea party for the committed - one sugar cube away from the insane asylum
- Even John Lennon would not want to imagine this!