I now had to make Sophie’s choice. Do I confront him or just hope he sticks with Plan A. My insides festered with anger, hurt, and uncertainty putting me into accusation auto pilot and plotting a course for collision. I was compelled towards addressing this situation head on.
The confrontation unfortunately did not bring any closure. It was followed by ten minutes of denial and then a trip to the bathroom, where reality reared its unwelcome head, along with leftover Ethiopian food. I had lost myself to a man that had to decide if he loved me or not by making a list. I took my final bow and end scene.
It took months of crying, anorexia and denial before I was able to move on thanks to him. Soon after we broke up he married the other girl on the list – Miss Plan B. It was really at this point that I had no option, but to toughen up and back away from the couch and my robust collection of velour sweat suits. It had taken a liar for me to see the truth. Love for the catalyst was no deeper than pen to paper, but I had learned to love myself - A small price (and an Emmy worthy performance) to pay for self actualization.
So don’t show up late or not at all for a self examination. The price can be costly. Ask yourself the age old question “who am I?” and not in the sense of “what am I doing here?” and “what is the universe” leave that up to Stephen Hawkings. Start small with “who am I?” and “how do I project myself inwards and to those surrounding me?” Whatever you are feeling and whoever you are make sure you are being genuine to others, but more importantly yourself.
Avoid the toilet bowl in life. Stay true to yourself and you will find you where always the princess you believed you where, just stronger, smarter and more beautiful than you ever gave yourself credit for. Therefore remove your costume and star as yourself! You don’t even have to audition you already have the lead role.
"Who knew there was a princess underneath all those rags?" - Cinderella