Wednesday, September 1, 2010

A Princess Amongst Frogs!

A trip to the mall on Saturday afternoon with Prince Charming - PRICELESS. People watching at the food court with the locals - $20.00 for lunch and the worst runway show of my life.

Tommy Hilfiger and Ralph Lauren our forefathers of American fashion would "pop their preppy collars" if they saw what the average American looks like while shopping at the mall. Is there a sanction against mirrors in this country? When did the nation stop caring about what they looked like? Do we get to blame George Bush for this as well?

Just because we are in a recession people does not mean you have to look like you have given up all hope and in many cases opted to wear less clothing. Dressing skanky only makes you look like you can't afford to cover your body (or a lady of the night trying to turn some tricks at the mall in return for an Auntie Ann's Pretzel and a new pair of Forever 21 shoes). Lets class it ups ladies please for the sake of my sandwich, which I was trying to keep down while watching you flutter by like the next Lady Gaga.

Let's break is down:

  • Dress your age - Cougars in jumpsuites you know who you are, if its sold in the Junior's department its not for you!
  • Show off your best assets - not your ass
  • Sweatpants in public not okay - I also do not need to know if your ass is "juicy" or "hot"
  • Socks with sandals - shut up!
  • If your clothes are see thru so are your intentions - you are asking for it!
  • Brush that hair - if you are not sporting a hair "do" the creepy foreign guy selling ghetto hot irons will continue to harass you till you get it together (and rightfully so)
  • You do not need to use your entire body as a showcase for all the current trends - pick one per outfit
  • If you feel discomfort from your tight pants, we feel the same way looking at you - go for one size bigger you will look thinner and nobody sees what size you are wearing!
  • Fashion is supposed to make you look good - so don't go for pieces that make you look like you are part of the living dead. Yes comfort is important, but comfort does not equal a pair of Tevas and a sweat shirt - Cole Haan makes perfectly cute shoes with Nike air soles,fashionable and easy to wear
  • Your man is you most important accessory, if his outfit is not making you swoon how do you expect to make all the other girls and boys out there jealous-give him alittle guidance I am sure he will appreciate the input.
Ok so next time you leave the house look in a mirror and think if I saw someone wearing this outfit at the mall would I make fun of them? Coco Chanel lived by the motto: "Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and remove one accessory" I think this is something we all should practice everyday, its the least you can do to help beautify America.

"So many frogs if I kissed them all would I be considered a hussy!" - Cinderella

14 comments:

  1. I think certain sweatpants can work, but I'm an advocate of a well fitting, complete tracksuit. (I'm specifically talking about the Velour Juicy tracksuits with matching tops and bottoms. Not badly fitting sweatpants and giant t-shirts.)

    I feel like people should have pride in their appearance when going out in public. There's no need to wear heels to the beach (can people even walk like that?) but wear the proper shoes and outfits when you go out. Dress as if you are going to run into an old flame at anytime - you'd want to show off how awesome you are!

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  2. These women you describe... they sound awful. Nothing says, "frumpy" like tevas and a sweatshirt. Thankfully, my wife only dresses that way on river trips to football games.

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  3. I so agree with you... people dress like pigs and then wonder why they can't get work... I taught my girls to show respect for the venue they were in and that meant, if someone cared enough to give a party or put on a performance, have the decency to respect their efforts and dress appropriately or just don't go to the function... I'm going to stop here because this is a serious soapbox for me... come visit when you can...

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  4. Oh God I love you!!

    That is all.

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  5. I definitely agree that people should not go around with the word "Juicy" on their butts...especially if said butt is juicy!

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    ReplyDelete
  7. thanks for the comment!! i'm a new reader and this post just made me die laughing!

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  8. I'm a new follower from Following Through Thursday, come and follow me too!

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    Have a great day!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi, I am your newest follower, coming from one of the blog hops. I LOVE your blog & will be back to read more :)

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  10. I need you as an app on my DROID. Hy-Ster-ICAL! *sigh* guess I'll ditch the socks next time I go to the mall. My sandals are so pinchy!

    HAHAHA! You rock!

    http://TheSurvivalMama.blogspot.com
    @TheSurvivalMama

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  11. haha!

    I can be quite old-fashioned when it comes to children...saw a mom at the gym with teeny tiny shorts and a sports bra with her 5 year old, in a t-shirt and really short skirt. Kids pick up so much...

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    ReplyDelete
  13. Ok, you had me at the cougars in jumpsuits! That was hysterical yet so sadly true! Love your blog, I'm your newest follower from TT. Hope you can stop by and say hi too:

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  14. I just found your site through a mutual follower - which mall might I ask??? I am recently transplanted OUT of Atlanta :(, but I must say this was one of my favorite past times when there - mall people watching - LOVE it! I also LOVE your site name - it makes me smile.

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C

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