Tommy Hilfiger and Ralph Lauren our forefathers of American fashion would "pop their preppy collars" if they saw what the average American looks like while shopping at the mall. Is there a sanction against mirrors in this country? When did the nation stop caring about what they looked like? Do we get to blame George Bush for this as well?
Just because we are in a recession people does not mean you have to look like you have given up all hope and in many cases opted to wear less clothing. Dressing skanky only makes you look like you can't afford to cover your body (or a lady of the night trying to turn some tricks at the mall in return for an Auntie Ann's Pretzel and a new pair of Forever 21 shoes). Lets class it ups ladies please for the sake of my sandwich, which I was trying to keep down while watching you flutter by like the next Lady Gaga.
Let's break is down:
- Dress your age - Cougars in jumpsuites you know who you are, if its sold in the Junior's department its not for you!
- Show off your best assets - not your ass
- Sweatpants in public not okay - I also do not need to know if your ass is "juicy" or "hot"
- Socks with sandals - shut up!
- If your clothes are see thru so are your intentions - you are asking for it!
- Brush that hair - if you are not sporting a hair "do" the creepy foreign guy selling ghetto hot irons will continue to harass you till you get it together (and rightfully so)
- You do not need to use your entire body as a showcase for all the current trends - pick one per outfit
- If you feel discomfort from your tight pants, we feel the same way looking at you - go for one size bigger you will look thinner and nobody sees what size you are wearing!
- Fashion is supposed to make you look good - so don't go for pieces that make you look like you are part of the living dead. Yes comfort is important, but comfort does not equal a pair of Tevas and a sweat shirt - Cole Haan makes perfectly cute shoes with Nike air soles,fashionable and easy to wear
- Your man is you most important accessory, if his outfit is not making you swoon how do you expect to make all the other girls and boys out there jealous-give him alittle guidance I am sure he will appreciate the input.
"So many frogs if I kissed them all would I be considered a hussy!" - Cinderella